And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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