Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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