yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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