I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
