I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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