He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
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I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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