You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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