This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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