Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
