I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize