You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize