I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
