i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
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he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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