i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
