it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize