It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
