the new term for farting is butt boxing.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
3 2 1 whiskey
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
