Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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