You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
