It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
