And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
