i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
