what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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