If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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