You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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