Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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