you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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