He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
