Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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