so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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