Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
