you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I CAN MOONWALK!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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