Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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