My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
