Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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