With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
