i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
