is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
