There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
