He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
