Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
