i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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