More tranny stories later!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
