I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
