So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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