I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
