I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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