Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
