Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
