I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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