That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
