So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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