what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
