I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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