im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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