i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
