I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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