There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
