I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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