Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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