So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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