So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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