Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
